Gottman Referral Network

About

In the aftermath of an affair, you and your partner have different experiences, feelings, and needs…

For the betrayed partner, the discovery of infidelity shatters your world — your sense of reality, order, predictability, and emotional safety.

You wake up from nightmares about your spouse with another person.

You repeatedly question your spouse’s whereabouts or who they’re texting.

You remember a vacation you took last year and burst into tears remembering the joy-filled time you had together, wondering if any of it was real.

You want to heal from this betrayal, but right now, the only thing you know how to do is criticize, yell, shut down, or cry.

Meanwhile, for the partner who had the affair, you’re likely struggling to fully acknowledge the pain you’ve caused without falling into paralyzing shame or defensiveness.

You try your best to remain patient when you are asked to answer the same difficult questions for the fifth or sixth time.

You feel some conflicting relief that you no longer have to hold in this secret that has been tearing you up inside (despite what your spouse thinks).

Both of you have self-preservation methods — like avoidance or blame — that are working against you.

But there is a path forward, and you've found it here.

Special populations

Affair or betrayal recovery, couples considering divorce, couples in recovery from addiction