Couples typically combine their lives because—at some level—they feel better in each other's presence than they feel around anyone else. That feeling can change over time, such that the relationship no longer feels safe, loving, accepting, or secure. But, I believe that what once existed can usually be restored.
A couple's "pattern" or "dance" is a combination of what each person brought into the relationship, and how those ingredients combined. Within the pattern formed by a couple are practices that are effective for forming close relational bonds, and patterns that are ineffective.
Dr. Gottman's research has provided great insights that identify patterns that destroy relationships, and patterns that nourish and restore them. I would love to help you discover your particular pattern, and to strengthen your marital bond.
In addition to the Gottman principles, couples are helped by understanding their attachment needs and how those foundational needs can be met in their marriage.
In my counseling approach, I incorporate thirty years' combined experience in social work, ordained ministry, and counseling. I utilize 3 levels of Gottman Method Couples Therapy training, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Attachment theory, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) (where called for to treat trauma). I am also an Educator for TGI's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work seminar, which you can find by searching EventBrite.com for key words: burford and marriage. Or, you may paste this link into your browser: https://www.eventbrite.com/d/ks--overland-park/marriage-burford/
My own marriage of over thirty years, including the raising of three children, has provided a practical understanding of the struggles and joys of marriage.