Gottman Referral Network

About

You can love each other and still have absolutely no idea how to get out of the pattern you've created together.

Maybe every important conversation turns into the same argument. One of you pushes harder while the other shuts down. Or maybe you've already tried couples therapy and are frustrated that you're still having the same fights.

Couples sometimes come to me embarrassed that they don't already know how to communicate better. My question is always: Where were you supposed to have learned this?

You were never supposed to automatically know how to do relationships. Most of us learned by watching the relationships around us, and not all of those relationships gave us particularly useful instructions.

My work isn't about handing you communication techniques and sending you home to try harder. I help couples understand what is actually happening between them when things go sideways — and then we practice doing something different.

Sometimes that means slowing down a fight enough to understand what each person is reacting to. Sometimes it means learning how to say something difficult in a way your partner can actually hear.

I'm not interested in deciding which partner is the problem or taking sides. I am interested in helping each of you understand the part you play in the dynamic and become more effective at changing it.

My style is down-to-earth, warm, funny, occasionally sarcastic, direct, and sometimes lovingly blunt. You can expect support and empathy, but you can also expect me to tell you when I see something getting in the way of the relationship you say you want.

I work especially well with couples who feel stuck, couples who have tried therapy before, relationships affected by addiction and recovery, LGBTQIA2S+ and polyamorous relationships, and couples deciding whether or how to move forward.

I also offer intensive/marathon therapy for couples who need more than a traditional weekly session.

Special populations

Intensive/marathon sessions