Gottman Referral Network

About

You're exhausted from having the same fight on repeat — different topic, same ending. Maybe you've stopped bringing things up because what's the point. Maybe you're lying next to someone you love and feeling completely alone. Maybe you can't remember the last time you wanted a Friday night together — or wanted each other in bed. Maybe you're not even sure "we" is still the right word.

If that sounds familiar, you're exactly who I work with.

I'm Fanshen Thompson, LCSW, a Gottman Method Certified therapist and relationship specialist based in Berkeley, working with couples and individuals throughout California. My clients come to me carrying all kinds of pain — communication gone from connecting to combative, trust that needs real rebuilding (not just an apology), desire that's quietly faded, and the gut-wrenching question of whether to repair or grieve and move on.

Here's what tends to surprise people about working with me: I'm not going to spend sessions cataloguing everything your partner does wrong. I'll help you get curious about your own patterns — the ones you actually have power to change. That's not about blame. It's about handing you back your agency in a situation that can feel completely out of your hands. Clients tell me this is different from therapy they've tried before, and it's the thing that finally moved the needle.

My work draws on the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and somatic practices — but frameworks aside, I believe in skills over insight alone. We practice new ways of talking to each other right there in session, so you leave with something you can use that night.

I bring real warmth, real humor, and a genuine love for this work into every session. Whether you're rebuilding trust, reigniting desire, learning to fight fair, or figuring out if this relationship has a future, I'd love to help you find your way there.