Gottman Referral Network

About

Codependency and relationship addiction feels like: unhealthy attachment, a slavish connection, feeling hooked, stuck. A relationship that is not mutually beneficial. Problems with addiction can cause unhealthy dependency in a relationship. I can help when your loved one's using is a problem. You're embarrassed by the public scenes. Their use is out of control and you try to handle it. You're sick of the lies and broken promises. At home you manage everything; the bills, the job, the children. You mend damaged relationships and you worry. You're tired of their addiction being more important than you. You feel broken and defeated because nothing you have done has changed the situation or the one you love.

I grew up in the Midwest, where alcohol addiction was normalized. My grandfather died of alcoholism when I was in middle school. My father and many members of my extended family also struggle with addiction.

Marrying into the military, I found similar patterns of alcohol abuse. It was more acceptable to binge drink and have a hangover than admit to not drinking. Airmen used alcohol as a primary way to cope with the stress of the job.

It took me a long time to understand how being surrounded by addiction affected my thinking. I believed I was responsible for others and thought it was my job to fix them. This attitude led to resentment, anger, anxiety, depression.

My husband also grew up in an alcoholic home and we struggled with addiction in our marriage. Neither of us had healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the effects of addiction. Divorce was always on the table.

I am so grateful for Gottman Method Couples Therapy because it saved my marriage. Learning about the Four Horsemen was incredibly eye opening and started a cascade of positive change.

Facing reality brought me unexpected joy.

As a therapist, I use my experiences and knowledge to support clients who struggle with the effects of addiction in their relationships.

Special populations

Those affected by another's addiction