Morning, evening and night
You love each other and have a lot of strengths together. Yet intense, repeated arguments make you upset and distant. You want to fight less so you can trust each other more.
Do you love each other but have trouble with conflict?
Are you craving more closeness and affection?
Are you worried that your partner doesn’t hear you?
Are you noticing the problems more than the strengths of your relationship?
If so, couples therapy can help.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a process that helps partners improve communication and build trust. They learn to understand one another more deeply, which lets them feel closer and be more connected.
How I Use the Gottman Method in Couples Therapy
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is based on 40 years of evidence-based research. It is considered one of the most effective methods for couples work— and it makes sense to clients because it’s logical, structured, and clear.
Step 1: Build the Ability to Respond
The way I use the Gottman Method starts with helping couples to reduce the fight-flight-freeze response that happens in conflict. This is a helpful response when attacked by a mugger, but not when you feel attacked by your partner. When couples slow down this response, they are better able to hear each other.
Step 2: Become Aware of Patterns
Next, I help couples notice a destructive communication pattern called the Four Horsemen—criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness. Finding the ‘antidotes’ really helps couples to shift their actions and responses and turn toward one another.
Step 3: Practice Conversations in New Ways
Couples begin to learn to slow down their conversations and be more able to hear one another better using the Gottman–Rappaport dialogue.
Step 4: Discover Hidden Dreams within Conflict
From there, I help couples get beneath the surface and find the unmet need or dream that is buried in the conflict.
Couples where one person suffers from Anxiety or OCD.